single. loveless.
we're so convinced being this ordinary was okay. probably, better. "who needs love!" - we blurted out with a wholehearted conviction, not caring as our throat bled with disagreement.
denial. cheap thrill to a wonderful feeling.
amongst us ordinaries, love was silently made taboo. we drew the lines to converse about love only in forms of opinion and ideas, only to end up in a debacle. we were emotionally lacked, thus we strive on logic and reasoning. it was the only way we knew how to gain even the slightest 'extra' to our ordinary being.
here's the funny thing, until every ''love is in the air'', we were perfectly normal human beings - then we're miserable fcks whose thoughts dawned upon blaming karma, voodoo, kumbaya-my-friend, glalaleletsktsk-ololo or even God for being specifically aimed by darts of unfairness.
after that, some people (like me) thought writing would be the least, liberating. though, it suddenly dawned on me, wanking was a better idea where liberation was concerned.
i could be wanking AND writing right now - not that anyone would know. BUT rest assured, no Jill action happening at this moment.
anyway, the fact that we're still messed up, and the things we do or dont do, the things we say or not say, the unspeakable taboo of the loveless singles, will remain as universe intended.
however, you and i, we're fcked up together - thats always a good thing to know.
i seriously think this entry is utterly stupid. like seriously. but i really dont care. its whatever. so im like whatever. whatever.
To the couple throwing love oh-so-freely into the air last night. im sincerely happy for you to have found each other. im beaming with envy-frm-hell but thats only natural to wanting what makes you both extraordinary. love love.
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