Retards

oh lord! i'm so glad mark dragged my sorry arse out last night. its an unspoken thing - no mark, no josh, but i'm grateful too for those who persistently called to ask me out. you guys annoy the shit out of me, but i love you still. so, no disgusting vomit elevating through my esophagus, so i guess its just verbal vomits.

i am so off my face at the moment and it's amusing - its a rare quality i know, having to know how to amuse myself by the things that i do. juice me now, all you get is alcohol baby! if i'm a "thing" i'll be a bottle of bacardi 151. i wish i'm just a little bit more intoxicated but i dont think mark loved the idea being physically abused by a "fag". apparently not healthy for a man's ego.

despite the fact that i won't be getting my dose of shag, i'm surprisingly happy. it's a good day. i got my money! i got my dose of alcohol! i got chicks who want me! i got ben (not really)! i got my dose of mates' innate bitchiness and uninhibitedness. i got random strangers wanting pictures taken with me (ergh huh?)! so much strange loving. me likey ...

i shall not be sorry for my bag of goodies anymore. they may not be biggies, but they're goooooooood! trick or treats!

mark made me realized that knowing and wanting what i like in a person is not at all bad. infact, its sensible.

if relationship itself is about experiences and growing with each other then there's absolutely no harm in recognizing what i have to offer and what i want in a person. i don't think it's a selfish act of fussiness, its just a humble nobility i can offer myself. there's still one other thing i just don't get - if someone's securities can intimidate and insecurities poison relationships, then where is the line drawn?

by no means i'm trying to sound like i'm tooting my own horn but i know i have alot to offer and having to narrow my list of wants in a person into one word i'll say i want someone who is smart. not book smart necessarily, street smarts can be hot stuffs too.

the whole inner beauty thing is just what insecure people tell themselves everyday and i think its stupid. seriously, you're only ugly if none of the 6 billion people existing today don't think you're beautiful. tan sri lim kok wing is the most tangible definition of ugliness. his wife married him for the money. ironically however, physical looks can be so over-rated and it too is stupid. see, in my world of absurdity, im *coughs* good looking (so SOME people say lah!), but i'm a bitch. that's why im notched down a little bit.

love is stupid but very much needed.

i believe love does change a person. yeah, into morons.

lovers are retards, that's why they're special. i have an innate feeling for their kind.

i love you retards ... lovers.